Growing Up AainaA

… or otherwise known as The Value of Perception {Perception of the cosmic dimensions, of self and…}. Damansara Indah, a township in Petaling Jaya ‘city’ of the State of Selangor Darul Ehsan, Malaysia has been renamed and yet to be remapped as Tropicana Indah in Google Maps by the Authorities eager to have this brand change.

Apparently, and suddenly popping out of nowhere is, a Damansara Indah in Kuala Lumpur, and everything has to change. Its like telling the bride that the groom has decided to do away with a white affair, and begrudgingly accept the idea of having the invitees come in Schiaparelli Pink instead without further ado since its not the « hip » thing to do in 21st century Malaysia to be wedded on a non- « denominative » day in the wee hours of dawn greeting the Sun, in all its splendour.

Malaysians are not Sun-Worshippers. They adore money, and everything permissibly shallow!

It does take time – the weaning of a child to adulthood, and the same can be said about adults taking shape intelligently before they literally kick-the-bucket! Given time, I will inform everyone on my mailing and mobile list that I no longer live at Damansara Indah, and that changing my address to reflect Tropicana Indah, and the residence name change too will do them a great favour since they would love to re-pen their beautiful address books, the ones with parchment paper, recycled or otherwise, made in Switzerland {costing nothing less than a few hundred Euro}, or some bloody country unheard of these days.

It’s not the change of address that besets me – I’d do it in an instant {and by doing so, I’d literally change my abode and city, state and country of residence as well!}, but doing so, and telling every inefficient {albeit most of them dysfunctional!} government servant{s} to change my address again on MyKad, and banking details plus the plethora of other agencies including the utilities department amongst others would have them not in stitches! It will cost some Ringgit Malaysia – and that includes fees, petrol, time, effort from my part! Mind you, I am not unaware how government servants prefer complacency over change. As if that’s the full stop – the punto at the end of a sentence, oops, have suddenly turned into a semi-colon – you see, its really not that simple, because as simple as it may seem, all GPS software selling Malaysia maps would have had to have that bloody town edited with its bloody new name!

Its in this merry-go-round of events that change every other heartbeat or two, is why Malaysia is favored amongst the white-skinned people {whom I’ve been told, are patient et al}. Bloody hell you insipid pink-collared workers, these white and thick accented people are here not because they are adept to change over trivial things – do I really have to spell it out?

Une bonne cuisinière est une fée qui dispense le bonheur ~ Elsa Schiaperelli

This perception problem is one of the issues besetting many other trivial problems that make the hotpot ever brewing in complexed Malaysia. If I write about Malaysia, I have been told to do so with a positive flair – this idea spawned by some in the Board of Directors at the « Commission » in the country is having adults tinkering with a « safe » zone rather than encouraging critical thinking and lateral change. Of course critical thinking is not encouraged {albeit, the same can be said in Sarkozy’s Administration or Bush’s} – The Malaysian government, the so-called men with balls aren’t really what they ‘project’ themselves to be.

What matters is how others perceive them.

If they’re insipidly inane, and infelicitous, as long as they are driven in a Mercedes Benz or a Jaguar XJ and spot a Dolce or Gucci, they are smart people. If they have problems articulating a grammatically correct sentence in one language without having the need to add Malay, Cantonese or Tamil into it – its okay, because as Ministers, they’re given that priviledge but bloody hell by whom?

Pray tell Faust for crying out loud, whom darling, whom? Paris, France does not change its name just because there’s a Paris, in Texas {vice-versa} – or a mini Statue of Liberty on the Seine does it? Albeit these very same people with these microscopical clueless minds would change their attire if spotted wearing the same at some « Balle de Débutante » somewhere in Geneva if granted the chance to mingle with the who’s who in yesterday’s affair.

Of course, that does not stop there – its a change of events, and change of events like thunder and lightning are… oh, too pretty to be captured on film! It will never – its this perception « attitude » that have would-be employers employing someone looking like a diamond-in-the-rough, but can’t perform even a simple task like answering the bloody phone, or someone who looks like his next best mistress or toy boy employed to tease a fellatio.. all paid for in a day’s work!

There’s a difference between diamond, and glass, and to a trained eye, its easily spotted!

It doesn’t stop there darling – it really doesn’t stop there. It’s not all about perception you know and if it was the case, why would you think the World is utterly and sinfully beautiful, and humans so tediously scrofulous? After all these animals who call themselves intelligent walking upright unlike their domesticated pets or their favoured ones in caged exhibits at botanical gardens the world over are behaving exactly the opposite? Scientists worldwide have discovered more about the realities of animals than they have discovered about the human species!

When the tick is in the clock, the clock is going. When the tick stops, the clock stops. If the tick in the clock is not regular, the clock gives no regular time. ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

Triono the maid came in one weekend, alighting a question. Clueless as to what instigated her the Q in mind I am surprised that past events in my lifetime up till then sometime in the eighties, seemed to have an effect on how people ‘judge’ me now. Its all in the perception of things, and events of the past. The past that has nothing to do with them, but the « perceived-dream » that could make their lives less miserable, and that it could easily happen to their offspring, or themselves if granted the chance.

« Is that really you? » she had asked, after finding a set of monochrome pictures of me in my modelling hey-days. I nodded. She then went on saying that I should do my very best to look like that image of the past, and that would apparently please her. The same statement came into mind, when potential employers after having vetted through my curriculum vitae of my participation in the rag industry – It seems that glamour never dies, and people do have a stereotypical mindset when it comes to beauty, and all things intoxicating.

If I had been a drug in my past, you’d think the future would be like today? ~ AainaA-Ridtz

I am comfortable in my skin – very indeed! – asking me why I’m not looking like the past images is like giving me an address change. Not hiring me because I am not pleasing to your eyes, or will not fit-into a stiletto-mindset is like wasting my time, money, and effort just so you can catch a glimpse of the real me, and insult me to smithereens’ in a tête-à-tête interview. Asking me silly questions and drumming into my cranium that I’ll never find a husband or a boyfriend to tease my G-Spot if I do not polish the body of the bloody GranTurismo is like dotting over me for being perceptively ugly in your « space ».

If I gave you a torch in broad daylight and ask you to walk with it, would you be insulted? Or would you take the queue and be mindful of trivial things which tick-off in a second or two, and probably decipher the message, grow up embracing the ninety-nine percent of the brain instead of instigating a debate as to why I should please you so that I could eat, survive, pay rent, feed mum and take care of her, and then gloat in the glory of wearing a Chanel or Yamamoto at an event that doesn’t even incite me the least bit, just so being part of a society page with you in it will boost your self-esteem?

By the way, if I dress in a certain style, and drive a vehicle which you can only dream in a million dreams in your wake-stage, and read Sartre, Zola and say Machiavelli, what are the odds that you’d think I’m a savant of the times, squeezing the bloody jigsaw where its supposedly to fit in society?

Think of a pendulum oscillating between symmetrical points … form and content … at each line, the meaning produced within you, far from destroying the musical form communicated to you, recalls it. Our poetic pendulum travels from sensation toward some ideas or sentiment, and returns towards some memory of the sensation and toward some potential act which could represent the sensation. Valery, Poetry and Abstract Thought

If I told you that I  am the one you’ve been seeking all your growing years when you cry yourself to sleep because the books never did balance correctly all because the ‘glamourous’ bombshell you hired is only good at spending your fortune or articulating pleasure when the spouse is at a sale in London, would you hire and exploit me or would you laugh and make a mockery of my presence just because I do not ‘fit’ into the color-scheme of your built-in wardrobe at the Stark-like office? If I told you that I can triple or even quadruple the investments just so you could at least behave like a wealthy man without giving way to your thick slurry northern-state accent, would you shoot me for being careless and outright blunt or grant yourself the pleasure of risk in a world where perception fore-plays better than any lover stashed in a closet?

PostScriptum: If you’re a potential employer or investor reading this short biography, please take note, that AainaA is as real as the dread you feel when you wake up in the morning, looking at your reflection only to find her looking back at you from within your eyes.

Some notes to consider, if tonight seems a tad too white, for comfort!

• As the secularist notion of state and religion as two separable spheres of interest grew out of religious wars, secularist public and media perceptions of international politics tend to consider many conflicts as “religious”.
• Ralph Lauren, a Jew from the Bronx, is a genius. He successfully sells himself as both a rugged cowboy and an old school Mainline Wasp…he doesn’t sell products, he sells idealized life styles, tells stories {in soft focus}. People will always pay premium for things that makes them feel a certain way.
• In July 1794, the Whiskey Rebellion broke out as farmers declared their defiance of the law and rioted against tax officials, burning buildings and even calling for secession from the United States.
• Tracing the evolving perception of the Jew,” C. C. Aronsfeld in his Text of the Holocaust (1985) reports that after the Reichstag election in 1930, Count Reventlow called the Jew “a tape-worm in the human organism which it is our duty to exterminate.”
• Self-directed learning is well researched and documented in the literature, yet factors affecting self-perception {and self-directed learning} are less evident. This paper investigates self-perception and whether it may influence adults when faced with new learning opportunities. Several important links related to self-directed learning and self-perception are reported herein.
• Joachim of Fiore: A Study in Spiritual Perception and History
• Jonathan Crary’s study, Spectacles of Perception, focuses on a shift in ways of seeing at the beginning of the modern age. Focussing specifically on three paintings by Manet, Seurat, and Cézanne and more generally on the art of the time {ca. 1879 to 1900}, Crary also examines the larger picture, of a world in which notions {and, in fact, the realities} of perception and attention were radically changed.
• The working hypothesis is that a significant relation between the perception of inequality and degree of traditionalism can be expected. Specifically, we posit that the perception of inequality in the role distribution of men and women will increase as the degree of traditionalism in gender roles decreases. Likewise, the variable traditionalism will be related to age, number of children, educational level, religion, and political ideology.
• In many respects perceptions are like reflections. They mirror the knowledge, behavior, and psychology of the decision maker. It is the way we are wired. For sure, this behind-the-looking-glass knowledge will lead to better decisions. But not because it provides a new scoring mechanism for sorting amongst alternatives. Rather because it focuses on the nature of value perception and misperception. Decisions are made by people, whether as sole deciders or as members of a decision-making coalition. No two people perceive the same thing in exactly the same way, whether it is the problem to be solved, candidate solutions, value priorities, or even the importance of a decision.
• The concept of risk is an outgrowth of our society’s great concern about coping with the dangers of modern life.

Le temps est un traître de cape et d’épée qui vous glisse sa poudre d’oubli dans votre coca ~ Viktor Lazlo

♥AA♥

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