“If you want to pass without having to sit for the test, all you have to do is pay.” He said. “Two months ago, it cost about RM350, these days it is RM650″ he added.
“Are you telling me that you’d accept bribes?” I asked him. He chuckled and shook his head. “I wouldn’t suggest you do that – you need to know everything before driving…” he added.
I was disappointed. I sat for the Learner’s License test yesterday and failed. I should have taken it two months ago when I was hyped about learning to drive.
Damn!
The instructions I had received earlier several months ago were in Malay. Knowing that my mind translate words into English, from French or some ethnic language {like Klingon}, I was dismayed. I was hoping that Malaysia, of all the assumedly developing third-world would embrace English as a medium of communication since they were after all colonized by the Queen {Elizabeth that is!}.
I think in French when I’m not thinking in English
I complain ‘sans cesse‘, hoping that someday something will change – After twenty years, I’m giving up on complaining. Malaysia will never change for the better. I can hope, but reality {and I’m not going to repeat} is often blunt!
Unfortunately some Malaysians have bigger egoes than the English. For a small neck of land, we have more ’smart’ schools than anywhere in the region, sadly not many smart graduates – most of them are smart when it comes to not working hard instead of making a change in the country.
I shouldn’t really care – Tomorrow, I’m going back to Heaven, and they can all rot here! {Except for my friends, mummy, and … a lover or two… or maybe three}
“You mean JPJ {Road Transport Department} actually accepts bribes?” I asked, pretending to be shocked. Nothing shocks me anymore, when it comes to Malaysia or the many women who talk of God fervently, but in reality are void of. Previously some Minister lamented that bribery is atypical of Indonesians, and Indonesia. Nowadays, and for the past thirty odd years, it has been a norm in Malaysia.
It is public domain that the Malaysians can be bought for bags of peanuts. So if you’re a foreign investor or an Expat, forget the Cash – just bring loads of peanuts!!
“Not JPJ” he answered, chuckling. “JPJ contracts out these tests – the centers offer ‘help’ for people who prefer getting things the easier way” he added still chuckling after having found out that I flunked the test by one point. ONE POINT – I’ve never failed any tests in my entire life thus far, so you can imagine how disappointed I am now. I’m going to re-sit in a couple of weeks. If I fail that test {again} – although in my mind, I see that tiny duplicable license in my hands – I’ll have to re-think my options. I even dreamt about getting the sports car, and the matriculation number registered. {Oh gawd, I still can’t believe I failed this!!}. I keep telling myself that it’s not the end of the world. Surely there are a quadrillion other twits like me out there, who are clueless to road signs, and cars.
I’m also upset because one needs to be fully clothed from head to toe when going for the test – I don’t veil myself, and this should’nt be an issue – Heck! I wasn’t in a bikini for crying out loud!! Do I have to wear a burqa the next time I visit the Test Centre again? Gees – to think that Malaysia is supposedly to be a metropolitain country!
I personally know someone who drives a neat car for more than fifteen years without a license, and another who drives a flashy car like an F1 driver, but is so clueless when it comes to things technology, like the b-iPod, or the PC – let alone the Macintosh. Maybe I should get the pilot’s license instead huh? I could always get a Learjet instead of the sports car.
L-License was previously published on AainaA Insight, June 2007 herein re-published for your entertainment 
